Post 71 – Comedy icons Lena & Amy fool around with guys & girls … but there are scary Islamic omens for sexy infidels!!

‘I’m not fat – just a little tubby,’ tattooed Lena tells the boys as she wanders around wearing a g-string and bra. There is some talk of work and places to live followed by eye-catching silences as faces come closer and mouths connect. The sex is frantic as passion surges, but next day the partners move around and chatterbox virgin Shoshanna squeaks ecstatically as she’s deflowered.

Lena Dunham is bright and popular and she’s moving up rapidly in the comedy world. Recently, in rural France with no internet or TV we watched some episodes of Girls on a computer – interspersed as weeks passed with Mad Men and Peaky Blinders. I couldn’t take more than two episodes of Girls at a time, and I kept wondering just who the cafe owner Alex might end up with as he engaged traumatically with Hannah, Marnie and Jessa. Adam, the carpenter/actor kept bundling Lena/Hanna across furniture and onto carpets before rag-dolling her with consummation in bed; but he seemed  to have difficulty in speaking + some psychologically challenging problems. While Marnie, a singer in the making, sought meaningful love while coping with disastrous liaisons.

Back in the UK, I discovered Amy Schumer, and I’m still reeling from what I’ve seen of her ‘Talking Dirty’ and ‘Trainwreck’. UK Sunday Times film critic Camilla Long says she’s ‘vulgar, dirty, drunk, trashy and frightening,’ and goes beyond all known boundaries. At the Fillmore Theatre in San Francisco she’s tall and blonde with great legs and a raunchy but knowing smile. In ‘Talking Dirty’ Amy starts by telling us that she doesn’t like guys coming on her face, thighs or stomach. She then moves on to ‘ass play’ which starts with a finger and is followed with allusions to uncircumcised members with ominously grey ‘hoods’.

She tells us of a condom getting stuck in her cervix  and there’s no question but that she can say the filthiest things in the sweetest manner. We hear of sex being too athletic with her former professional wrestler boy-friend Dolph Ziggler. “The first time I was like, ‘oh this is cool. Nobody ever rag-dolled me’ … But soon he was spinning me like a Globetrotter.”

Many of her fans applaud everything she says and want more – but there are exceptions, like in Lyfyette, Louisiana, where an agitated gunman opened fire during Amy’s ‘Trainwreck’ movie. He killed two women in the cinema audience and wounded nine others.

There has been talk of girls on girls with Lena and Amy – but Amy seems to be more into guys, with nostalgia for an incident where there was just one erect member, but no balls (or grandparents!). I guess it’s good to have a couple of sharp, sexually oriented female comedians, but one wonders – just a little – where it’s all going.

Perhaps if Allah’s Islamists go nuclear over our perceived decadence, we may be comforted in our radiation shelters with re-plays of Lena and Amy indulging our frail but now wilting fantasies. When we hit Muslims with the Crusades almost a thousand years ago, they faltered and collapsed. Now, however, these guys are back with a vengeance. They want to nuke us in the West, but why? Well … it’s complicated … but Allah’s extremists claim that we’ve passed beyond redemption with our overly indulgent lifestyles and sexually obscene pleasures … so Lena and Amy – we love you … but maybe you need to pull back – just a little!!

@WriterRowan   #IAN Author Page:  http://bit.ly/1CapXQX